This is what it feels like to realize you’re wrong.  You go running off the cliff, and everything is just fine, until you realize it’s not…

Some inspirational tunes during my workout…

• Pharoahe Monch – Still Standing (feat. Jill Scott)
• Raconteurs – Steady, As She Goes
• The Roots – Distortion To Static

From http://richienorton.com/2012/10/how-to-start-a-revolution-of-heart-rad-akin-7-fast-tips/…

“Many creatives that I’ve worked with are far too quick to get down on themselves. Their art inspires them but that inspiration is fleeting. Bursts of confidence and passion are commonly (and quickly) followed by bouts of doubt or discouragement. To you who fall victim to this tendency, I say: Don’t tie your happiness to the success of the project, rather tie your happiness to the journey toward it! Just keep moving, no matter what. You’ll get there. Truly, you will.” – Richie Norton

When we’re young, it seems like we’re gonna live forever.  That there’s a limitless supply of sunrises, and the future looks like a straight road, stretching endlessly before us.

As we grow older, the we start to see there’s an end to the sunrises at some point, we realize that it’s less of a road, and more of a path, and sometimes (if we’re doing the right thing), no path at all.  We realize that the road we’ve traveled is short, and we look back and wonder how the years could have passed by so quickly.

We get so busy, that we wear that business badge like a badge of honor.  Look at me, look at how busy I can be.  It’s like a status symbol.

But is it?

We keep lists of things to do, and we hurry to get through those items so that we can get to the next one, get to the next place, everything becomes nothing more than another item on a list to get checked off.

Do we listen to music to hurry and get to the last note, or do we listen to the song?  We we travel just to get to our destination, or do we enjoy the trip?  Life’s a journey, not a destination, we should all try to enjoy the time we have, with the people we have.

Maybe we could be looking less with our eyes.  Maybe we can be listening less with our ears.  Maybe we can look and listen with our hearts.  Stop, and listen to your soul, what’s it telling you?  If we can’t hear it, maybe it’s time to stop and listen.

I’m scared to death that I won’t live up to my potential, or at least, what I feel is my potential, that I will fail to become the person I feel I can and should be.

Too many songs left unsung.

I go to work, like just about everybody else.  I have a 9-5, and I try hard, I work hard there.  There’s certainly a ladder to climb there, and I do try to climb it.  I have a family after all, I want to provide for them the best I can.  The thing is that I’ve spent a lot of time and energy climbing that ladder, and am realizing that I’m not living up to my potential.  I’m not living with passion, or for my passion.  Each rung of this ladder is is hardly a step towards where I want to be.  This entire ladder barely amounts to a single step of where I want to be.

We have real potential, potential that we sometimes can’t even see, but we feel it.  We feel it when we’re unfulfilled at our jobs.  We start to put so much energy into this thing that is not our passion, that we start living with no passion at all.  We feel that we’re not living up to our potential, even if we can’t directly see it.

Knowing that we want to live with passion and purpose, why do we spend so much time on things that are so fleeting?  Why do we spend so much energy on things that are inconsequential, and superficial?  I know we see the error, the strangeness, in our ways, but why do we continue down this path that ultimately leads us to a mediocre life?

Sometimes all you need, what you need, is a morning of clarity.

Woke up this morning, and didn’t have to get ready for work.  I didn’t rush, skip breakfast, fight traffic, or put on a tie just to impress, I threw on some shorts, and as a result, I see more clearly what’s important to me.

We spend so much time and energy making preparations  making sure we impress people, some who will never be impressed, or just to make a little extra money, and in the end our quality of life will be reduced, just for what, a extra little bit of money in our pockets? The hope that we’ll impress somebody, or gain favor with somebody, who we shouldn’t be spending so much energy on to begin with?

We can’t continue this way.  Our health is failing, our relationships are failing, we care less and less about the important things in our lives because our lives are being taken over by our need to succeed at something that we don’t really care about!

Where’s our passion?

If we succeed at something that we don’t love, that we don’t care about, is it really success?

It’s time to make some BIG changes, starting now.  We’ve wasted too much time already.

It’s easy to work on the thing that seems to have a plan, a path, but that’s the deception.  It’s their plan, and their path.  It’s not necessarily your own.  You’ll be what they want you to be, and nothing more.  And, when you are something more, something different, they’ll punish you, they’ll shame you into being what they need.

That’s not how life should be.

Maybe things feel empty because our associations are based on relationships that don’t mean very much because they’re based in work that we don’t care very much about?  It’s not personally sustainable.

Wow.

It’s time for a change.  No, wait, I’ve said that before.  The change is now.

There is something bigger, there are bigger expectations that we’re not living up to.  There’s a life to live, and we need to be living it starting now.

The family had a great trip to south-eastern Arizona this last weekend for the spectacle that is Rex Allen Days (extra points for you if you know about this local holiday).  It was nice to get out on the open road.  The driving also provided some time to talk with my beautiful and always insightful wife.  She really helped me get my mind right on a few things this weekend.  This trip was an opportunity to get some plans in place, and to see the step I’m standing on, to take the next step up.

Driving helped me remember that the best is not behind us, but in front of us.  It takes time and effort to get to where we’re going, and we have to enjoy the trip, crying baby in the car seat and all…

We truly are what we make of ourselves.  We are a reflection of what we find important, and what we put our energy into.

I’ll tell you what though, I’m tired, I’m tired of working and never getting anywhere, but I’m realizing it’s because I’ve scraped every resource out of the ecosystem I’m living in, it’s time to get outside of the ecosystem, and become something more.  It’s time to grow. Maybe we’re all like that. If we don’t get outside of our own personal ecosystems, we’ll never be more than that ecosystem will allow us to be.  All along the way, we HAVE to give back to that ecosystem, to make it sustainable.  We have to find a way to define who, what, and where we want to be, then find the way there, and drive.

When I get there, I’ll be home, and until I’m there, I’m on this road, tired and weary, but enjoying the trip, and paying attention as I go.